This picture is so illustrative of the death of my old identity and the birth of the new one. When I was a kid I would write secret messages with lemon juice on paper and then "discover them" by holding the paper to a candle flame. The juice would heat and turn brown and the message would appear. My mom pointed out that this message on my back emerged as the secret message that's always been written on me. I just needed the test of the fire of the past months and the Triathlon for it to appear.
Until the Triathlon I had been operating in the space of accumulation, of expertise, of competence. In the Triathlon I left my heart out on the course, was used up and emptied. After crossing the finish line, that really all disappeared. All the miles, all the hours, all the lapse, all the food, suddenly it's just gone. It was done. Complete.
Driving back to Texas the reflection was that now I am starting again from nothing. A total newness and nothingness from which anything can be
What's there now is a clearing. Right after the Triathlon I created that I would show up as a clearing and I thought of it as showing up as a clearing for others. To create what they would like, to be listened to, to be present. But what's actually there is that I've created a clearing for myself. Clearing for creating space in my heart and my life. Clearing for people, for developing a partnership and also clearing for time with myself.
And it's scary. Being responsible for what you are to create, now that's really living! Having a blank slate, and opening, an invitation to choose. Great power and great responsibility. I know that I trust myself now. Many days of facing that dis-belief in yoga have dissolved the reality of that fear. The evidence is all there to suggest that continuing to trust myself would be safe to do. Creating the possibility of shared trust also means creating the possibility of self trust. Fear is still there and in that space I give up the fear of creating, fear of trusting myself, the fear of actually succeeding -meaning what is set out to be comes into being.
This experience of having an opportunity to create my life and my future in partnership really honestly is the most transformational kind of opportunity. We are truly all given the chance to create ourselves and the other and to create our lives. Exactly as we would have it. And exactly as I would have it = infinite. Ongoing.
Creation and re-creation. An ongoing cycle. Being present to what works and what doesn't work and creating when something doesn't work. Breakdown as a signal for creation not a signal for change or for that something is wrong. Because, as we know, there is NOTHING wrong here!
What becomes possible when nothing is wrong, when you're committed to creating possibilities, and committed to showing up and staying in the conversation is continuation, fail-safe, trust, a beautiful created life.
So here I stand, at an abyss of a beautiful gorge I have created. At the entrance to a chapter of life that is about to being. A complete clearing and opening and opportunity that I have
in my life. People ask about how Australia came about. It really started as a simple idea and became my world through the continued conversations around it. Through a continuing commitment to keep my word. Through a deep desire for a reset.
The freedom that is present as I make my way there now is unbelievable. Freedom like I've never felt before. I know in my heart that this time to go to Australia is life creating (almost like life changing, but even more powerful!) I have a deep knoqing that the next steps of life will directly flow from the experiences, relationships and world I create in Australia. There is a sense that I am to go there and bring something back. For myself but more so for the people I am to contribute to. That there are discoveries to be had in the world of creating a social network from scratch. From discovering a new culture all in. From living with a magical friend Lydia. From creating a life that allows for time for relaxation and recovery.
New life, sourced from my soul, I call you into being. I call you to be clearing, healing and to LIVE LOVE every moment.