I’ve been looking at what it is to be a stand that anyone can love anyone at any time. Does that have to be somehow the same as free love in the world? I don’t think so. For me it’s not.
It’s about “coming from love” in all our interactions. Not from sexuality or gratification. To come from heart. Not from ego.
There is a difference. I don’t have any sense of lack, don’t have a need, just a commitment to share love in the world.
sometimes that means kissing strangers. sometimes that means giving my time and energy to the people around me. sometimes that means being present where I am. sometimes that means surrendering and letting go with another person. It’s all very different in every moment. Looking for the natural expression of love in every moment.
It’s not what we often think of as possible. It can be the case that we think of love as exclusive. You only really love one person. At one time. In one place.
love is our ground state of being.
It’s unlimited, and it’s endless. From that place, there is no possible lack. There is no well that will run dry or empty.
I found an inauthenticity this week. I was inside of a conversation that sometime, somewhere I may be willing to plan for a future with my partner.
In actual fact I wasn’t interested in that or willing at all.
The path I am called down could lead anywhere at anytime. Loving another or going to India, or going on an adventure and that kind of unpredictability wasn’t working for him.
I wasn’t afraid to be honest about that today.
To stand for what I want. To stand for two people being able to fully love, give surrender to one another. To stand for personal growth above all else. To be vulnerable and free and generous with myself and with others.
That my love for him isn’t related to where we live, or how often we see each other.
so what that gives is creating something new. Creating a structure that neither of us have seen before. To look at what we both are willing to give up, and not willing to give up.
And what’s left is that fundamentally I want others to understand me, especially my partner. To understand my love and how it looks. To believe me. I have a deep desire to be believable.
I have a deep desire to be loved and accepted as I am.
These are deep fundamental human desires, really. It’s amazing how they run the show and hide out in the background of our mind.
I acknowledge you, deep desires. I thank you. I love you. And I love YOU.