It seems that the more feminine I allow myself to become, the greater the ease of life is around me.
I have been having more sessions in the past few weeks, and also more down time as a result.
I scrolled back through the archive of posts I have saved on my Instagram the other day. I saw how over time the posts I saved became more sensual. They began to include beauty. And eroticism. And I could see how this was the result of having more of those things in my life.
In the past I operated from a place of efficiency and based my measure of “success” on how “productive” or “smart” or “polite” I was.
There was an endless list of experiences I wanted to explore and I would tell myself no. Many of these things were beyond what is frugal and prim and efficient. Those were my guiding principles for so long. Lately I have been rebelling against these more and more. They are so masculine and rigid and I deny myself so much when I try to operate from those principles.
When operating from the masculine I deny my desire.
In the past I denied my true freedom, productivity and success by trying to be efficient, or proper or effective in the world. Aka by being masculine.
But this is not my measure of “productivity” any longer. Rather at this point in life, “SUCCESS” to me can be measured with the following question. How many moments did I want to explode with joy/pleasure/love/wonder today? Successful days have lots of these moments.
And the way to get to these moments is to say yes to my desire.
Over the weekend I said yes to my desire. I allowed myself to do exactly as I pleased. To play!
The following are all things I wore/did/experienced in the last few days because I said YES to my desires.
Wearing sequined fake nails.
Buying nipple tassels.
Exploring relating with women.
Eating chocolate before the main parts of a meal.
Buying coffee versus making it at home.
Taking a bath every day.
Buying myself flowers to enjoy my home.
Paying for laundry service.
They may seem like small things, but in each of these experiences I felt extreme levels of joy or pleasure or exuberance for life. I experienced success.
And amazingly all the important things still got done. I made money. I cleaned my house. I packed and made it to the airport for this trip to Australia.
We don’t need to be masculine to be productive!
Follow and say yes to your desire!!
Here’s to many more of these moments and days. Here’s to saying YES to my desire and yours.