Making room.


I’ve fallen in love again. 

I expect it to get easier, less firey, more neutral as I get more practice. But no… at least not this time. 

I saw a Star is Born last year with my mom and sister. We all left crying for different reasons. 

My mom said she was crying because she had only ever loved one person like that, and it was my dad. My sister said she hadn’t ever loved like that and didn’t know if she could. 

For me, it was because I fall in love hard so often and I was so grateful and blown away by all that love. 

Every time that it happens though, I feel myself have to make room in my heart. I have to keep expanding and growing my capacity to love.

Love in my world is an infinite resource. If it’s truly all there is, then there will be no limit to it. 

That doesn’t make it any easier. I still feel the growing pain. It takes lots of conversations with partners, with family, with my community to create with them every time I go through an expansion like that. 

It’s rewarding. Its worth it. It’s my purpose in this world…

I was watching a video of one of my loves speak to his son who is three years old at the time. The boy seems to have so much wisdom. When asked what the purpose of the sun is he says “to not feel scared at night.” Makes sense! When asked what his own purpose is, he says to do exercise. Dad asks why. He says because “I’m good at it!” Also makes sense.

 When asked what his dad’s purpose in life is, he says “To love me!”, the son refers to himself. What a beautiful answer. 

I’m really getting too, that my purpose here is also to love. Deeply, expansively and with passion. 


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© 2019 Olivia Pavlov