© 2019 Olivia Pavlov

Peru Part 1


Of all the travel I have done, no trips I have been on come anywhere even close to this one. The outstanding things from his trip in Peru can all be summed up in one word: intensity. The intensity of the altitude, the hike in, the inner personal work that was required the experiences with ceremonies, the amount of circling and sharing, the daily lived experience. It was all so intense. And that intensity humbled and broke me, but also built me up and showed me courage like never before. I was able to see that I have only just begun on my spiritual journey. I may have thought before this retreat that I had done lots of work so far, but a key important piece was missing - thinking about how what I was doing could benefit anyone else in addition to myself. I can see that my approach was so selfish up to this retreat. That there was really just an approach that whatever I did would make me a better person and lets hope that would then wear off onto someone else. But in reality that’s not the way to make a difference. I began to see that this approach that the wise ones have shared for ages are so true - that we can have it all and if we don’t have a way to help others we have nothing. I began to see that I want my life to truly be heart centered. Not centered in survival or making it or being someone and being comfortable. Every ceremony I was given access to what this felt like - to live from the heart. I was able to remember what it felt like when I came out of ceremony as well, but not for too long. I began to see that this fleeting memory was crucial. It is the reason for meditating every day. It is the reason for doing ceremony and micro dosing mushrooms and all the crazy things I have adopted in my life. This is where the richness of life really lives. Not in my small existence of being comfortable, having nice clothes and things and going to yoga class. It is when I truly feel connected to others. So back here in every day life, I am looking for ways to call that in, to live more and more from that place. To be in community and share my life and myself with others and to receive from them as well. No small answers to big questions, that’s for sure. But I am here to keep aspiring, to keep working, for all of 


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