I’m not married.
Nor have I been since 2016.
I had two people this week say something about well, “Since you’re married....” and I went “What?!?”
It had me realize that I haven’t clearly shared much of my life in the last 6 weeks. Although these two people were wrong that I was married at all recently, they were referring to a more recent relationship that they had seen on social media they assumed I was still in. And that’s because I haven’t directly explicitly shared:
June 1, I separated from the relationship I had with a man whom many of you saw appearing on my blog and social media over the last year. He was the man I proposed to in Panama last year. And the father of the two children I was step-parenting.
He and I never were married. We were engaged for about 12 months. And we completed our living together, our relating, sex, money etc on June 1, 2020.
Everything happens in life for a reason from mouth cancer to breakups to car crashes. Let’s end that kind of apology culture.
Yes, it was one of the most intense experiences of my life, the one evening of our separation and completion of our relationship. I used all the tools, healing modalities, techniques I’ve learned over the last few years to emotionally process the events of our completing and to stay/be present and feel everything that happened as it happened.
And what I want to leave you with is that I’m safe. I’m Complete. Never been better in fact. Blessed and grateful. I’m ok! Better than ok. I’m amazing.
(I think that’s what we want to know when someone has a major life event - are they ok? Do they need anything? And the answer is at this moment I don’t need any emotional support from you or anyone else I am not asking of this for, around this event.)
There are seemingly endless lessons I have gleaned from the experience but that’s for another post.
Today I’m here to share where I am at now. What I am creating.
And also very important: This is NOT AN INVITATION for sexual or romantic inquiries. My “singleness” is not an invitation in and of itself.
I’ve dedicated my whole being, self, life, purpose, money, possessions, life path to service of LOVE (god/goddess/spirit) from here on in, through a series of rituals.
I am creating Austin as my main home base. I’ve moved two suitcases (nearly all) my belongings there. I have a box or books and coats that I’ll be taking from LA to Austin at the beginning of next month.
I’m cultivating divine sovereignty and singleness. Complete wholeness within myself, self-sourcing, self love, self sex. And from that place I desire to be met fully by another (possibly others?) who has cultivated that full sovereignty themselves. Communion. Nothing less. Meeting on every level, every chakra, every aspect. And meeting like standing eye to eye. Seeing one another where the other is at. Exactly as they are. Acceptance. Love. Unconditional. Partnership. Depth. Connection.
And I have been met the way I am desiring and sharing here, on a partnership/sex/love level by an especially noteworthy human, who came into my life again after nearly 2 years in the most magical and universally orchestrated of ways. That connection is completely free, and the most deep Truly unconditional love I’ve ever experienced both GIVING and RECEIVING. (Which of course since they’re the same thing is no surprise. We give and get the same same same.)
I desire and am cultivating all relating to be a full body full chakra yes and am also cutting away all which is not that.
My financial flow has shifted as well, more virtual sessions being offered, more larger package exchanges, more spontaneous gift giving and receiving. Less hours. Less effort. Less hands on. More energetic and transformational work!
I’ve undergone large shifts with body. Physically I feel healthier more vital and vibrant than ever. Less sleep, and sleeping in shifts, much more fresh fruit. Quicker healing. Less dense foods. More herbs. Cacao daily. Working with blue lotus, mapacho, hapé, cacao, mambe, all regularly. A handful of times with psilocybin and Quantamine a few times.
Longer meditation, less exercise, more walking, LOTS more time in nature and water daily if possible. Baths if not. Same pleasure, same dance, same prayer.
Today I’m flying to NYC for the week for a business related opportunity. Then to LA to see the sweetie I mentioned above and also for business. Then setting off on a cross country road trip with the sweetie around the 20th or so to hit TX, FL, and end in NY at a beautiful burner created event in nature at the end of the month. There will be a little more time of road trip back to CA and then eventually back to Austin in the early 10s of August.
I’m following spirit with these journeys. Answering the call of spirit when it’s a clear hell yes. When it’s a clear opportunity for being of service to LOVE!
Can’t wait to share the journey as it continues to unfold.