The forgotten purpose of sexuality.
It’s been clear to me for several years that my purpose is to spread the gospel about sacred sexuality/Tantra/the temple arts. And I spend my days talking with people about sex and relating so I’ve been doing lots of data gathering. The following is based on the personal “research” I’ve done with clients, friends, sex experts and my community. It’s my belief that sexuality is the next big area for humans to explore to evolve our species. If we can restore sexuality to it’s true purpose I believe so many of the “problems” this world faces can disappear. From climate issues to the health crisis to creating peace and ending war can in my opinion be resolved when we get sexuality balanced. The very nature of our existence is sexual. None of you would be here without it! And we are all crazy about it. But so few people seem to have sexuality really really working for them. Some of the big categories I see people falling into are - Some people aren’t having it because they’ve been guilted to think either the way they want sex, the kind they want, the people they want it with, or something is wrong about it. - Some people aren’t having sex because they’ve given up on finding what they do want, usually deep connection. -Some people are having sex they don’t want - in an unfulfilling or disconnected way, with someone they don’t really want it with, or are resorting to unsatisfying self pleasure because that’s either all they know or all they think they can get. - Some people have routine duty sex - because you have to/should/you used to like it so you keep doing it. But then.... I find a ministry group of people LIT UP by the sex they have. They’re satisfied. They’re connected. They’re radiant. They complain very little about their sex. Or other things for that matter. What I notice the sex practices of these people all share are: - Intentional creation - partners are chosen powerfully. Both people engage in the sex for a specific shared reason. Such as for a physical expression of love, a fantasy to be acted out, biochemistry balancing, sex-magic creation, community building. - Ejaculatory control is practiced in some manner for the male bodied partners. - There is an understanding that feminine power is a gift, a mystery, and the feminine is deeply honored in the practice. - Female orgasm is honored. - There is less shame/hiding about sharing their sexual practices - either by conversation about it, or literally including others or practicing in a way that is public. So let’s put this in perspective - what is going on with these people’s sexuality? Unfortunately, I don’t have is an easy answer about how these people got to be this way and have these practices. But what I do know is that they all have a reverence for sexuality. They regard it as a critical tool for their own lives and their own wellness. And also what I know is how this got taken away and lost. Recent historical research is showing that about 2,500 years ago a major shift happened in society. Practices such as co-ed bathing, public sexuality, and group sexuality became more taboo. A separateness between the masculine and feminine was imposed by the rulers and leaders. This shut down a huge part of human sexual expression. The new restrictive view of sex was adopted by the early Christians and fast forward 2,000 years and here we are in this condition. What got taken away when that cultural shift was imposed is the missing piece about sacred sexuality. In the ancient societies the sacred healing nature of sexuality was understood. The goddess was worshipped and the feminine highly regarded as the seat of creation. Celebration, community worship of sexuality and sharing in this was was present. Sexuality was used to encourage good crops to grow, to protect people in times of disease and famine and to instill power in the warriors of society. It was an elixir to all the “problems” of those times. Now do you see where I was going about the world problems being solved with sexuality? :) And the people I’ve encountered in our current time who proclaim to have wonderful sexuality seem to share the view that healthy wonderful sexuality is the most potent of elixirs. Intentionality is one of the most crucial pieces of how our world works- everything we have is created in language. And so what I’m sharing here is a call to a collective intention for human sexuality. I invite you to adopt an intention for your own sexuality. You can use this one or modify it for yourself as feels right for you. “Sexuality is the most sacred of forces. At all times I use it for the highest good of myself and all those around me. I direct my sexuality to the healing of myself, others and this world.” Let’s see what opens up as this message spreads through our world. It starts with you. Yes. You.